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    女孩被親爹綁高樓外晾衣桿上教育:恐嚇式教育傷害孩子一生

    發布時間:2019-06-28丨發布者: 丨 閱讀次數:173

    前幾天的一則新聞,讓廣大網友著實捏了一把汗。

    江蘇鎮江的某小區,一名男子將一名看起來十來歲的女童,放在窗外的晾衣桿上教育。距地面十多米的高低,女童面朝下,撕心裂肺地哭喊著,死死抓住衣架。

    而該男子卻默然看著孩子,不停大聲呵斥。直至一兩分鐘后,才將女童抱回屋里。

    后經警方調查,下手的竟然是親爹!

    而這位親父親之所以這樣做,是想在教育女兒的過程中,嚇唬嚇唬她,讓她長記性。

    微信圖片_20190628181631.jpg

    網上一時間炸了鍋,網友紛紛表示:萬一失手,父親會終身遺憾;就算沒失手,對孩子心理也會造成極大創傷!

    微信圖片_20190628181657.jpg

    微信圖片_20190628181710.png

    這位家長的初衷是好的,他不過是想給孩子一個刻骨銘心的教訓,讓她以后牢牢記住,長大懂事。

    但是,對一個10歲的孩子來說,這樣的行為意味著什么?毫無作用的求饒,瀕臨死亡的體驗,我想不出什么詞能準確地形容她當時的恐懼和絕望。

    我想這個女孩這輩子都記住了這次的教訓,以后不論家長讓她怎樣,只要提到“把你扔到晾衣桿上”,她都會乖乖照做。

    可是,這種威逼恐嚇下的所謂“成長”,真的能讓孩子發自內心地悔改嗎?孩子會被家長這樣的行為“嚇”大嗎?

    每一次極端懲罰的背后,都有孩子或大或小的心理陰影;每一個被“嚇”大的孩子心理,都埋藏著對父母或多或少的怨懟。

    對于孩子的成長來說,恐嚇式的教育,弊大于利。

    02


    前段時間,四川一位六歲的孩子報警被人欺負,聲音顫抖,嗚嗚咽咽,讓人好生心疼。


    民警了解詳情之后,才發現孩子媽嚇唬他:不聽寫單詞就不準吃飯!


    孩子餓的直接報警了。

    看到這,就想起很多家長會在孩子小時候說一些類似警察叔叔會把你抓走,醫生阿姨要來給你打針的這些話。


    這些讓小孩子害怕的話,效果很大,但很長一段時間都使得我心里有恐怖的感覺。


    這種話大家都很熟悉,畢竟現在的爸爸媽媽都是在那個時間中過來的。


    但是這種恐嚇教育真的有用嗎?


    恐嚇教育,造成孩子心中陰影。


    很多家長善于運用這招,是因為這比起其他教育方式作用大很多。


    比起給孩子講道理讓孩子聽話,嚇唬一下實在是太簡單了。


    可是,這種類型的教育真的會對孩子有益嗎?


    孩子收獲的極有可能是恐懼和心理陰影。


    03


    1920年,美國著名心理學家約翰·華生進行了一項頗具爭議的實驗:

    實驗室里,11個月的小艾伯特對他身邊的白鼠表現出強烈的興趣。當他觸摸白鼠時,華生就在艾伯特身后用鐵錘制造出響亮的聲音。


    小艾伯特聽到巨大聲響后大哭起來,并表現出恐懼。這樣反復幾次后,白鼠再次出現在艾伯特面前,他表現出極大恐懼。


    一段時間后,艾伯特對生活中毛茸茸的狗、海豹皮大衣,白色棉花胡須的圣誕老人面具,都顯示出相同的反應。


    6歲的時候,這個孩子就去世了。


    “嚇”對這個孩子的心理帶來了不可磨滅的影響,最終帶走了他的生命。


    約翰·華生的實驗證實了一個結論:恐嚇對孩子有巨大而深遠的殺傷力!


    “嚇”對這個孩子的心理帶來了不可磨滅的影響,最終帶走了他的生命。


    恐嚇教育本質上講是一種消極、負面的評價與引導,這種不良的評價與誤導,會使兒童的自我意識產生混亂,影響兒童人格的健康發展。

    04


    父母和孩子之間,本應該和諧親密。


    當孩子犯錯的時候,“嚇”只是一種表面功夫,并不能觸及孩子真實的內心世界,達到教育的目的。

    我們可以用更為溫和的方式去教育孩子,平等溝通,循循善誘,讓他們從內心里認識到什么是對,什么是錯。


    只有孩子自己形成了正確的是非觀念,他們才能主動趨利避害,做出正確的選擇。


    愿所有的孩子都能陽光、自信地成長!

    愿所有父母,都能收獲孩子毫無保留的愛。



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